Sunday, May 31, 2020

Reflections -  “Dancing in Your Head”

Dandelion Seed Puff 3
Would Spence celebrate?

My husband isn’t a holiday freak. Unlike me, he never taught elementary school so didn’t glorify holidays to entice children into reading. And he downplays celebrating his birthday. “I’m a community organizer. Organizers try not to draw attention to themselves.”

However, he looked forward to Memorial Day weekend each year so that he could invite his brother’s family, eight individuals strong, to Wells Wood for a traditional welcome summer celebration. During their last visit at Christmas when great-nieces Addy and Amelia were nearly five and three, Spence’s brother ad-libbed funny song lyrics, thumbs flew over shiny screens, and three or four concurrent conversations increased in volume. The little girls traipsed through clusters of grownups so Addy could ask Spence or me, “Is it time for an adventure?”

Spence grinned as wide and bright as a glowing jack-o’-lantern when he talked about these visits “They’re like listening to ‘Dancing in Your Head,’” one of his favorite jazz pieces. The free jazz didn’t delight me, but the gathering did. His birthday fell close to Memorial Day so the family visit served as a birthday party under another name.

This year’s holiday weekend arrived with cornflower-blue skies, newly verdant trees, and steamy 88° F (31° C) air—perfect for his favorite celebration. But COVID-19 brought restrictions and family distancing of a hundred miles, not six feet. 

No group walks.

No family feast.

No Addy and Amelia adventures.

Instead Spence worked in the south garden.

He lugged heavy watering cans from the cistern hydrant to splash relief onto wilting peppers, cucumbers, and zucchinis.

He muscled pvc pipes into the ground and joined them with connectors to fence critters out of an area four times the size of last year’s fenced garden.

He shoveled around pigweed, pried it loose until the carrot-like root broke deep underground, then tossed the weed onto the tractor path for death by dehydration.
South Garden Fence

Late in the afternoon, however, after trading the watering cans, pvc connectors, and shovel for his flame weeder, he ambled to the lawn between the new apple trees and West Creek Road.

Hoping he’d changed his all-work, no-celebration day, I grabbed my camera and ran after him.

He turned the knob on the propane cylinder, squeezed the flint sparker—rasp, rasp, rasp—and lit the escaping gas. Whoosh-hummmmm. He aimed the metal circle at the end of the wand at the dandelion seed puff. 

Orange flames lit the spiky, white seeds making them vanish. Magic. 

Attaching the zoom lens to my camera, I switched the dial button to macro and focused on the next seed puff in Spence’s path.

Whoosh. The puff flamed orange then blackened like a burnt marshmallow. 

Swinging the weeder with its flaming end just inches from his feet, he strode toward the next patch of puffs. 

“Aren’t you worried you’ll set your shoes on fire?”

“No.” He held the aiming circle half a foot away from a seed puff. “Are you ready for the next photo?” 

I peered through the viewfinder and pressed the button half way for automatic focus. “Ready.”

He lit.

The lens release clicked.

The puff exploded. 
Dandelion Seed Puff 1a

“Why don’t you torch the flowers before they go to seed?”

“Bees love dandelion flowers.” He set three more puffs ablaze. “We need the pollinators. But
Dandelion Seed Puff 1b
cremating the seeds keeps the weeds under control.”

His patience with my questions and photo quest reminded me of his patience with the great-nieces. “Addy and Amelia would have loved this adventure—the whoosh-hum, the shiny blue propane canister, and the disappearing seed puffs.”

His toothy grin told me he’d been considering the dandelion torching as a great-niece adventure too.

They would have danced around the yard pointing at the next puff for Spence. Addy might even have convinced her doting great-uncle to let her have a turn. 

He would wrap his arms around her to keep her safe and hold the weeder-wand with her to keep it steady. 

Addy, in her great-uncle's protective arms, would ignite puffs. 

She’d let go of the weeder and jump on her toes. 

Amelia would clap her hands and twirl in circles.

Spence celebrated—humming his song while his imagined adventure with his great-nieces danced in his head.

A different song, “Blue in Green,” captured the day for me. This classic jazz ballad always comes to mind with the blue and green of nature’s calm sunny days. On Spence’s birthday, though, the song resounded with its true meaning—blues for Spence having to celebrate without his brother’s family on his green-green birthday.

Mayapple

Sunday, May 17, 2020

Reflections - Like Cinderella
Catherine's Prototype (Practice) Dress

Jennifer’s eyes convinced me.

Ever since the 1990s when she and I joined JASNA (Jane Austen Society of North America), her eyes lit like sparklers when she talked about Annual General Meetings (AGMs ). I enjoyed my friend’s enthusiasm, but didn’t share her zeal for attending a weekend conference with seven or eight hundred Janeites.

Jane Austen remained my favorite author. Jane became a way of life for Jennifer. She purchased Jane Austen Books, became the coordinator of our Ohio North Coast region, and applied to host an AGM in Cleveland. For the last three and a half years, she worked to pull together the 2020 AGM—now a week-long event for a thousand people attending from six continents. When she discussed speakers, venues, and the Regency ball, the light in her eyes changed from sparklers to a fireworks finale.

I couldn’t resist. With my friend in charge and the conference only a two and a half hour drive away, I’d go.

But what should I wear to the ball?

I peppered Jennifer with questions. Good-natured and patient, she kept the sparkle in her eyes through countless emails and during the two visits I made to her Geauga County home. She even opened the closet in her spare room to reveal a rack of Regency dresses she wore to previous AGMs.

While I oohed and aahed, my mind whirled with the choices—make a traditional neckline or bib front, tuck lace or wear a spencer jacket, fasten with drawstrings or settle for a zippered costume.

Jennifer draped several dresses over her arm, toted them to the sunny deck along the back of her house, and hung them on a rack. She separated one dress at a time, held the sides of the hem, and stretched her arms to show the width of the skirts while I took photographs.

After studying the photographs, researching patterns, and dithering over styles for a month, I made decisionsdrawstring front, button back, and a moderately low neckline. I bought a pattern and fabric. I slept peacefully night after night until thunder woke me one midnight. Lightning streaked, and a realization flashed through my mind. The pattern I’d chosen didn’t require as much fabric as the out-of-stock historical pattern I couldn’t buy. The skirt for the second choice must be narrower. I panicked and, as soon as the sun rose, emailed Jennifer with more questions. “After all your help, have I been stupid and planned a historical dress that isn’t accurate? Any words of comfort for a troubled soul?”

“Well, goodness. I would not worry about that at all,” she emailed back. “‘Accuracy’ is for the nerds, and the rest of us just have fun.”

Her answer calmed me. And she answered the one question I didn’t know I needed to ask. “You won’t have to wear a corset like they did in Jane Austen’s day, but you’ll need a push-up bra so the dress fits right.”

The first push up bra I bought passed my comfort criteria but didn’t pass the seamstress’s evaluation. “Take it back. It’s pushing your breasts together not up.”

Bra shopping again? Drat.

When I related the bra dilemma to my friend Darlene on a visit to her condo in South Euclid, Ohio, she volunteered to go shopping with me. Double drat.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Darlene. She and I have been best buds since our daughters met in middle school. But I dreaded bra shopping on my own let alone with a companion.

Her “I’m coming with you” declaration in a no nonsense voice made me crumple. Besides, as a lactation consultant, is my last bra shopping trip.

We walked into Victoria’s Secret. Dim lights revealed sexy lingerie dangling off every mannequin and rack in the multi-room store with more space than my log house. Every bra, pantie, and camisole screamed young and voluptuous. I cringed. When would Jennifer’s “just have fun” kick in? With no push up bras in sight and Darlene at my side, I resigned myself for humiliation.

Taylor, a young fitting expert so short her eyes stared straight at my breasts, asked, “Do you need help?”

“I want a push up bra for a Regency dress.”

Taylor’s customer-greeting-smile twitched into a frown.

“An empire dress.” Darlene waved a hand indicating a high waist-line. “She needs a push up bra.”

Taylor’s eyes shifted left then right, but she led us to a fitting room. She whipped a measuring tape out of her slacks pocket, measured me in two places, then fetched three black bras. “Try these. I’ll be back to check on you.’

I turned away from Darlene and shoved my breasts into the cups. Great. No hands left to fasten the hooks. Maybe I could kneel beside my bed to get the contraption on—later, not now. “I need help, Darlene.”

She hooked me in.

Taylor returned.

She and Darlene stepped back as far as they could in the fitting room and shook their heads. This process repeated like Groundhog Day in the Bill Murray movie while Taylor fetched cross in front, fasten in back, B cup, C cup, 36, and 38 bras. Her face darkened from calm to cloudy in the process. “I have this super duper push up in black.” She handed me the bra and trudged out.

Darlene squinted. “That’s the best fit yet, but it isn’t right. You must be a B and a half.”

Returning, Taylor flung her hands over her head. “We might not have one that fits you.”

If Victoria’s Secret with acres of bras didn’t have one that fit, how would I ever find a push up? Desperate, I decided not to dress until I had a functioning bra. I put my fingers under the black strap. “You said you had a weird blue one in this style. May I try it?”

Looking stormy, Taylor slumped off to fetch the bra.

Darlene fastened it and stepped back. Her eyebrows raised but she didn’t say anything because Taylor, shoulders drooping, stepped in and looked at me.

She pulled her body so straight she stood an inch taller. Her face lit like sunshine breaking through clouds. “You look terrific!”

No one had ever said I looked terrific in a bra before. I bought it and prayed my seamstress would approve.
Embroidery Trim on Sleeve and Stole
“That bra fits.” Catherine eyed my chest and the pink bra with its sheer blue striped covering. A writing friend and the 2019 Crawford County Grand Champion seamstress, Catherine had volunteered to sew the Regency dress.

Moji, barked and twirled on her hind feet.

If I didn’t have to stand still on the shiny hardwood floor in Catherine’s farmhouse dining room, I would have joined her Bichon Frise Schnauzer in celebration. “It’s not comfortable like the other one.” I glanced through the tall glass window at her garden under winter-gray skies. “I feel like a toothpaste tube being squeezed.”

Catherine chuckled. “The bra’s doing its job. It could be the new you.”

As if!

For half a dozen fittings in Catherine’s dining room, I stood, Moji pranced, and Catherine tugged at a bodice, sleeves, or hem. She muttered, “I’ll take an inch off here and add two inches there,” then jotted notes on a three by five card.

Though Governor Wolf ordered social distancing, I suppressed my teacher instinct to follow his directions and drove the three miles over our pothole dotted road to Catherine’s whenever she needed me. 

Before cutting the Regency fabric, she sewed a prototype out of an old sheet to learn the pattern. This careful preparation had won her many blue ribbons at fairs. Her old sheet, blue with beige speckles, transformed into a dress elegant enough for a ball. 

Catherine’s confident voice only wavered once during the fittings for both dresses. “I cut the band the same as I did for the prototype, but . . .”

Moji circled me.

Catherine tugged at the back of the bodice. “It overlaps here.” More tugs. “The button section is right. Why is it overlapping there?”

Neither Moji nor I had a clue. We let Catherine think.

Following her directions, I turned forward and back then raised and lowered my arms.

Her confident voice returned. “There’s an extra inch in the front part of the waistband. I’ll rip it out and reset the band.” She grinned from ear to ear.

On the last fitting to mark the hem of the Regency ball dress, Moji and I paced from the dining room to the living room for the third time.
Regency Dress with Accessories
“The back’s still too long.” Catherine motioned me back, adjusted pins, and motioned me forward again. “That’s better. Now you won’t step on the hem while you’re dancing.”

I slipped out of the dress and into my clothes.

Begging for pets, Moji put her paws on my jeans.

Catherine eased the dress onto a hanger. “I’ll finish the hem tonight and drop the dress off on my way to town tomorrow.”

I stopped petting Moji. “Don’t you want to keep it for the fair?” Crawford County held its fair seven weeks before the AGM.

“You’ll want to show it to your friends. Just get it to me a week before the fair . . . if we have one this year.”

Any event attracting large crowds would be iffy in 2020, but I was almost ready. I had the push up bra, the dancing shoes I’d worn at my daughter’s Medieval wedding ceremony, two dresses, gloves, and a surprise.

The surprise had arrived in a package from Kay in Oregon. Kay, a friend since she married Spence’s elementary school buddy Eric decades ago, often sent packages after she and Eric visited us at Wells Wood. After we’d played board games, she’d sent a Bananagrams game. After she cooked several meals and raved about zucchini spaghetti, she sent a spiralizer to process Wells Wood zucchini.

I thought back to this September’s visit. She’d crocheted a capelet, a project she got from her craft of the month club. Maybe she sent a craft kit.

She’d also sat at the kitchen table with me to search the internet for Regency print fabrics. We found a flower print in blue. It was on sale for one more day. I needed to know how much fabric to buy that afternoon. “Do you mind if I drive to Joann’s in Meadville to get a pattern?”

“I’ll go with you.” Kay headed for the bedroom to get her purse. “I’m content to do whatever is happening when I visit.”

She wouldn’t send a Regency pattern or fabric.

Clueless, I cut the tape and opened the box.

A beige, hand-crocheted reticule—single stitches on the bottom, shell stitches on the sides, and four fat fringe clusters attached with gold beads—nestled inside tissue paper. I cradled the soft bag in my hands and admired the even stitches. The reticule was perfect for a Jane Austen ball. 
Accessories and Rills
I pitied Cinderella. She only had one fairy godmother. I had four getting me ready for the ball—Jennifer, Darlene, Catherine, and Kay. Nearly as excited as Jennifer, I gathered materials for a stole to complete my ensemble. 

But Jennifer’s next email lacked excitement. 

“What will the world be like in October?”

Reading the rest of her email, I didn’t need to see her face to know her eyes held concern, not sparkles.

“I’m not sure what’s going to happen to our AGM. It’s so disappointing, after those years of planning and being so excited about it, and just as everything seemed to be coming together so well. We have to still act like it's going ahead, which is hard to do because everything is so uncertain.”

Like Jennifer, I proceeded as if the 2020 AGM would happen and worked on the stole—cutting, sewing, hemming, and trimming with the embroidery flosses like Catherine had used on my dress. I only had to attach the fringe. Since I bought the same yarn Kay used to crochet the reticule, I would need to attach it one loop at a time. No worries. I had until October.

By the time I’d attached two inches of fringe on one end, an email from Liz Philosophos Cooper, president of JASNA, arrived. “With a heavy heart but a lightened conscience, I have provided notification of JASNA’s intention to cancel the 2020 Annual General Meeting . . .”

Liz made the right decision. The risk of COVID-19 spreading to Janeites would be high. My eyes, dry from staring at tiny stitches, filled and dripped like a leaky water faucet. I canceled my hotel reservation and thought of Jennifer.

After laboring years to prepare, she faced months of work to undo her arrangements. She had to be devastated,

I’m only disappointed.

When a safer time arrives, my dress and accessories will be ready for the ball. In the meanwhile, I have the memories of four friends generously pitching in to make my dream of dancing at a Jane Austen ball come true—someday.

Jennifer’s eyes convinced me it will be worth the wait.
Regency Dress with Mask

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Reflections - Caring for the Earth

Green Trillium

I blamed COVID-19.

For forty-nine years, I participated in Earth Day by

Gardening
Recycling
Collecting litter
Writing elected representatives
Reading books about earth care with elementary students
and
Planting trees.

This year, for the fiftieth Earth Day, I wanted a special celebration—marching with a billion other people around the world. And a Meadville Diamond Park march, which attracted from fifty to a hundred people, fit my idea of a comfortable crowd. I could drag Spence with me.

We would drive fifteen miles north, wave placards, and hold onto hot air balloon strings. With youngsters, old people, and tail-wagging dogs, we could send pleas for government officials to take care of our precious earth.

But COVID-19 arrived.

It canceled the marches, dashed my plans, and made April 22 a stay-at-home day.

Late morning, Spence in a thermal shirt and I, in two sweatshirts, set out for our exercise walk. I carried my camera and two plastic grocery bags for collecting debris deposited by winter weather. First stop—the front yard to photograph a green trillium. While I pulled weeds blocking the view of the plant, our neighbor Sandy loped down West Creek Road.

Spence yelled, “Hey! We haven’t seen you in awhile.”

She stopped, more than six feet from Spence, and pointed behind her. “I’ve been stopping before your garage. My knees were hurting, and the medicine didn’t work.”

Stooping, I focused the camera. Sunshine had evaporated the morning dew. Leaving the neighborly chat, I fetched a spritzer to spray water on the leaves for effect. The spritzer fired fat splotches. No mist. I could get the photo another day.

Though Spence often commented I would do anything for a photo, neither he nor Sandy commented on my wacky plant-watering behavior.

While Spence pulled up a dead girasole stalk, broke it into thirds, and tossed them to the ground, they discussed the foibles of our township secretary. He spread his feet, folded his arms, and injected a comment every five minutes or so. “Did you hear the story behind Flickenger’s drainage ditch?”

I mimicked Spence’s behavior. After setting the camera and spritzer on the deck ramp, I held the top of a four foot dried stem and kicked its bottom. Crack. Breaking the stem over my knee, I tossed the pieces atop the ones on the ground. I even tossed a question to Sandy every so often, but she didn’t need any stimulus to extend the conversation.

After an hour, the pile of stems reached Spence’s knee, the front garden looked ready for new plants, and Sandy decided she’d better go home. She giggled. “Bruce will be wondering what happened to me.”

I doubted her husband would worry. He would probably assume she’d met a neighbor along the way and stopped to talk, or rant as Spence characterized the conversation.

Spence scooped up the broken stems and headed toward the north garden.

Picking up pieces that dropped, I followed.

He dumped his load around the aerating stack in the middle of the compost pile. “I’ll turn the pile with the tractor bucket later.”

While zigzagging across the field, we collected dislodged garden, ground-cover plastic. One bag filled, I hustled under towering trees with swollen buds at the crown. My feet sank into the soft leaf cover on our descent to the floodplain. With the mixed fragrances of bark, wet soil, and greening plants, the woods smelled like spring.

Spence eyed fallen trees and pointed to a new one. “I could harvest that one for next year.”

Oohing and aahing, I paused to admire spring beauties, purple violets, and the first trout lilies.
Trout Lilies

Deer Creek burbled. A blue jay called jeer-jeer-jeer.

Forcing myself to search for trash, I bent over countless times to grab white splotches—sun bleached leaves. I bent for black splotches—water leached leaves. Actual debris came in larger sizes like a headlight, a law chair cushion, and the detached string of a deflated, helium balloon which rested four feet away.

With arms and bags loaded, we squelched through the swamp, trudged up the hill, and crossed to the south garden.

Clusters of black splotches caught my eye. Figuring I’d found more leached leaves, I stooped to inspect—plastic ground covering that Spence’s tiller had shredded earlier in the spring. I pulled a few pieces loose from the soil.

“You’ll never finish.” Spence grabbed my trash and kept walking. “There’s too much.” 

I didn’t listen to him. With each step I made toward a chatty-Sandy-delayed lunch, I picked up paperback book-sized pieces. When I couldn’t squeeze any more shreds in my hand, I turned to survey the path I’d walked—no black clusters, only a smattering of black dots on the brown earth. Better.

Tummy rumbling, I settled in my log chair, gobbled lunch, and gazed through the sliding glass door. Sunshine sparkled off the hoop house. I could sew masks for my brother and daughter, or I could indulge myself and enjoy the sunshine. 

Spence took the last sip of his carbonated water, set the can on the coffee table, and picked up his laptop.

“Do you want a garden date?”

He flinched as if I’d announced a groundhog had gotten into his cabbage patch. “What? Now? Do you need my help?”

“No. I need to weed the raised bed we planted for Sister Loretta.” I nodded toward the window. “The sunshine is enticing me.”

“I can’t go now. I have a conference call in five minutes.” He picked up his computer and clicked keys. “If you’re still out later, I’ll join you.”

I strapped on knee pads, slipped into mud boots, then gathered my gear—a trowel, a bucket of dishwater, and an old toothbrush. Those aren’t my usual weeding tools, but this job had a unique issue.

Birds flying to nests in the maple and spruce by the memorial garden, let loose many a chalky, white load which streaked the angel statue’s face. Kneeling, I dipped the toothbrush into the soapy water.

Bristles scritch-scratched against the angel’s eye. Poop stuck to her like dry paint.

Loretta's Angel
Feeling like a heretic, I scrubbed harder and harder until only faint specks of poop were left. They blended with the concrete, sort of, so I traded the toothbrush for the trowel.

Dig, grab, yank. Dandelions, white root, thistles, and bittercress hogged garden space.

Dig, grab, yank. Solomon’s Seal, forget-me-nots, and English daisies spread their leaves.

Dig, grab, yank. Soil caked under my fingernails and smeared my hands.

I no longer regretted the missed march. Tactile connection to the earth is the way to weed, especially on Earth Day.

Wind whipped tree branches.

My fingers numbed.

Earthworms came out with the roots. I shook each weed close to the ground to dislodge the worm and extra soil before tossing the weed into a five gallon bucket for its journey to the compost. When I yanked yet another dandelion, an earthworm escaped the roots by wriggling across my hand.

My mouth opened.

No yelp escaped.

I didn’t shake my hand either.

Because my soil-stained hands had chilled, I couldn’t feel the moist worm’s undulating segments.

Later, while I washed dishes that evening, I watched a robin through the kitchen window. The bird flew over the angel statue without dropping a chalky white load.

Spence walked up behind me, slid a dirty coffee mug onto the counter, and put his hands on my shoulders. “You had a good Earth Day.” He kissed the top of my head. “You were active while I sat on the couch.”

I appreciated the kiss and the compliment, but I hadn’t . . .

DUH!

COVID-19 is a villian in name only here.

With my special celebration canceled, I hadn’t mistreated the earth by burning fossil fuel for a thirty mile round trip or by adding a placard, string, and deflated helium balloon to an overcrowded landfill. I’d spent the day like I always do—caring for the earth.

Every day is Earth Day at Wells Wood.
English Daisy Up Close