Sunday, October 8, 2023

 

Reflections - Chi (Part 2)
 
Bird Chi this morning:
My steps interrupted by
The flutter of flocks...
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)
 
Jeff 


Jeff’s wife Carol, dressed all in black, stood alone in the center of the vestibule.


Spence and I arrived early. Having read him the directions I’d prepared for the drive from Easton’s Holiday Inn Express to St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church, Spence hadn’t made a single wrong turn.


Carol reached out and shook our hands. “I’m so glad you came.” A smile glowed in her cheeks. Grief, like invisible tombstones, sat heavy on her shoulders.


People filed in as we exchanged stories including Spence saying, “Jeff came to our wedding in sixty-eight. He hitchhiked home after the ceremony.”


“Those were different days.” A twinkle sparked in Carol’s eyes and she nodded her head toward her daughter Chandra who approached. Before she reached us, Carol said, “Jeff didn’t tell Chandra that story.”


We hadn't seen Chandra since she was a youngster. Now she’s a mother of two teenagers. “I’m glad someone from Dad’s college days is at the service. You're invited to come to my house afterwards.”


I’d written directions to Carol’s house, not Chandra’s. Recalling the problems we’d had in Philly the previous day, I nudged Spence with my elbow.


“We’ll follow someone,” he whispered.


Pushing the direction issue aside in my mind, I told Carol, “Spence prepared comments about Jeff. Is there room in the service for Spence?” 


She asked Chandra. “Spence has memories to say for Jeff. Is that okay?”


“That would be great.” Chandra answered immediately. She evidently arranged the service. “You can speak right after me, Spence. I’ll introduce you.”


Other people milled in the vestibule. I touched Carol’s elbow. “We’ll sit now, Carol, and let you speak with the other guests.”


A distraught expression crossed her face. She had so much grief work ahead.


A church attendant handed Spence and me a six page bulletin. Sitting, I gazed at the stained glass windows. All of them depicted birds—appropriate for bird loving and Lehigh Audubon Society member Jeff.


The nave filled for a high Lutheran service complete with responsive readings and communion—lovely, yet somewhat surprising. Our spiritual friend embraced all world religions. Jeff ended his decades of December poetic greetings chanting:


We hope that you’ll enjoy a Soulful Solstice,

A Divine Diwali, a Charmed Chanukah,

A Kwazy Kwanzaa, A Crystalline Christmas,

A Rad Ramadan, and a Happy New Yeah.


The songs and remembrances positively evoked Jeff. Chandra, blessed with her father’s gift of putting words together, grasped the edges of the lectern. “I didn’t realize how unusual my father was.” She’d assumed all fathers built snow unicorns with icicle horns, played guitars around the house, and took their children on long nature hikes. She said, “He was the calmest and kindest person I knew.” And she told of Jeff helping a woman escape an abusive husband at a music concert, writing a poem about a homeless man he’d befriended, and calming her when—fearing heights—she’d suffered a panic attack climbing Mount Katahdin.


“The remarkable gift that Jefferson Vitelli gave me,” Spence said to the quiet gathering, “was welcoming me into the Vitelli family.” Spence talked about their coming of age together. “During that most formative period for us, we wondered and practiced how to integrate spiritual, artistic, and social change into a lifepath. After that time our lives moved in parallel lines. As he leaned into art, social change, and world peace, I was drawn into fights for racial justice and community action. We worked in parallel lines. I always thought of me as we.”


Organ music followed the memories. A little shaky, I stood in the pew holding the hymnal with Spence to choke through the words of “Morning has Broken” for Jeff.


Today's bird mitzvah:
Downy in a tuxedo
With his red yarmulke…
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)


Downy Woodpecker

Relatives and friends recessed to the vestibule. They took turns gathering around Spence and requesting more stories of the Lafayette days.


Spence grinned. “Freshman year, I had the job of making coffee and setting out donuts in Soles Hall. Jeff knocked on the kitchen door at seven-thirty one morning. I let him in, offered him coffee, and asked, ‘Do you want cream and sugar?’


“Jeff replied, ‘I want coffee, not a milkshake.’”


People’s lips curved at the edges. They requested more—especially Tom, who’d attended Lafayette after Spence had graduated. Tom, a conservative, intended to be a Presbyterian minister. His experience with the strict conservatives at Lafayette turned him into a Quaker. He’d met Jeff in the anti-war movement.


Spence’s story of Jeff organizing a rally against the Vietnam War at the Soldiers and Sailors Monument in Easton before winter break their freshman year touched everyone. Spence and others wore their ROTC uniforms. Photos of the uniformed protesters appeared on the front page of the Easton Express the next morning. Spence didn’t see the paper because he’d taken a bus home to Pittsburgh for vacation. “When I came back, the college administration told me I’d completed the ROTC requirement.” Spence threw up his hands. “I finished one semester of the two year requirement. They put me in physical education. I learned golf.”


“Did Jeff get out of ROTC too?” everyone asked.


“For some reason, he didn’t have his uniform on.”


Questions kept Spence occupied.


A tall thin man came to my side. “Do you know how to get to Chandra’s house?”


“No. And we don't have GPS.”


“I don’t use GPS either.” He waved his hand as if swatting a fly. “I’ll draw you a map. I’m Chuck, Chandra’s father-in-law, by the way.” He pointed across the vestibule. “That tall skinny guy over there is my son Jonathan.” 


At a nearby table, Chuck drew a map complete with pictures of landmarks at turns. “There’s an Aldi’s on this corner. You can’t miss it.”


Young people walked by and joshed. “He’s drawing one of his maps.”


Map drawing didn’t seem humorous to me. Chuck was my kind of navigator. I felt more comfortable walking back to Spence where Tom still reminisced about the anti-war days.


Car keys in hand, Carol joined our group. “I’m going now. You may follow me to Chandra’s if you want, Spence.”


Recalling the trip from Philadelphia, a glance settled the question between Spence and me.


“Yes.” Spence reached his hand to Tom. “Nice to catch up with you.” They shook. “We don’t want to get lost.”


Carol chuckled. “Let’s hope I remember the way to my daughter’s house.”


Since Spence had talked to so many people in the vestibule, only a handful of cars remained in the parking lot. By coincidence and our early arrival, we’d parked our Kia rental beside Carol’s silver Subaru. Spence followed her along Easton roads. With my finger, I traced the route on Chuck’s map. Carol drove the way he’d drawn.


Crossing the Lehigh River then driving up a long winding hill, I set aside the map and gazed at the flowing water and the greenery. We didn’t need a house number. Carol pulled onto a side street in the rural-suburb with chickens strutting in a neighbor's yard. A bevy of parked cars marked Chandra’s house.


I walk across the yard,

Spread my arms. Bend down. Look up.

Peace is every step...

Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)
 
Chuck's Map


Carol leading, we crossed Chandra’s yard past a fenced in garden and a group of people sitting around a patio table. Chuck, beaming a friendly smile, rose from a lounge chair. “You made it. Welcome.”


“We followed Carol.” Heat flushed my cheeks. Had I blushed? “She followed the directions on your map exactly,” I said.


His face drooped.


“We’ll need your directions on our way to the airport, though. Thank you.”


His face burst into smiles again.


Carol led us inside to a family room and kitchen area. A drone of voices and the mass of people who’d been at the church filled the space. Carol leaned close to my ear and pointed. “The food’s over there. Make yourselves comfortable.” Someone drew her away.


Carrying a plate of olives, fruit, and turkey lunch meat, I sat on a love seat with Spence and Stephan, a young man who’d worked at LEPOCO (Lehigh-Pocono Committee of Concern) Peace Center. The fellas talked about Jeff and his peace work—especially at LEPOCO.


I ate, talked to people strolling past, and peered around heads to watch the slide show of Jeff. On the wall Jeff strummed his guitar, stuffed an icicle into the snow unicorn, hiked through the woods, stood among the Vitelli family, adorned his graduation robes, walked with one of his dogs, and swooped in tai chi. Some slides cycled through rotated ninety degrees. I cocked my head viewing them. No one commented or corrected the perspective. Jeff frequently viewed the world from a different angle.


Stephan beckoned his wife Sharlee over to ask her how Spence could contact the Peace Center.


While Stephan worked out the details of getting Spence to send a copy of his remembrance for the Peace Center’s newsletter, I stopped Sharlee. “I enjoyed your reading and solo at the service this morning. Both were lovely.” She’d read the poem Chandra had mentioned about the homeless man Jeff befriended and had sung Pete Seeger’s “Turn, Turn, Turn” with grace.


Shar crouched down to my level. “Chandra is my best friend. I met Jeff when I was only fifteen. He encouraged me to write my book.” She pressed her lips together and glanced away. “It took me seventeen years, but I did it. I wouldn’t have done it without him.” She paused again, composing herself. “He had a big influence on my life.” She blinked and moved on.


I set my hand on Spence’s thigh. He covered my fingers with his and kept talking to Stephan.


Conversations hummed through the house—calm, polite, reverent. Jeff very much lived in everyone’s hearts.


Spence patted my leg with our joined hands. “Time to go. Let’s say our goodbyes.”


We ended with Chandra.


“One last thing,” I said. “We visited Cook Forest in June and walked on the Longfellow Trail through the Ancient Forest.”


Chandra’s forehead furrowed as if wondering what my story had to do with anything.


Near the beginning of the trail is a Tree of Peace, an eastern white pine. Chief Jake Swamp dedicated the tree to commemorate the forest which saves ancient trees and to promote peace among all people. We plan to plant an eastern white pine at Wells Wood in memory of Jeff. A tree of peace.


Framed by the black hair she’d inherited from her father, Chandra’s compassionate face broke into a broad, joyful smile—a reflection of Jeff.


Every Breath. Each step
Is a prayer for war to end.
Peace encircling world...
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)
 
 
White Pine 1

Sunday, September 24, 2023

 Reflections - Chi

The birds are planting
Sunflower seeds from feeders.
Prayers for Ukraine...
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)
 
Girasole

Jeff’s wife Carol emailed sad, sad news. Jeff’s “great and beautiful heart stopped beating.” The email arrived Friday, September 1 while Spence volunteered in Cleveland. He called on his drive home.


“Do you want to go to the memorial?” I asked. “I checked the obituary. The service is a week from tomorrow.”


Above the sound of wheels humming on pavement, his voice came fast and determined. “Yes.”


Jeff, Spence’s best friend at Lafayette College, was like family. A brother. Kind Jeff—poet, musician, songwriter, sculpture, hiker, nature lover, and activist for peace, justice, and equality—was a treasure.


“I want to go too.” Though Spence could have driven five hours to Easton, Pennsylvania, I couldn’t. Riding two hours to Cleveland in July, I needed a break from my restless legs. We walked around a country graveyard reading faded inscriptions on Civil War era graves until I could manage sitting again.


Scrambling, I made arrangements on American Airlines from Pittsburgh to Allentown— connecting through Philadelphia Friday morning and Charlotte, North Carolina Saturday evening for our return. A long way around, but my sister lives in New Jersey, a forty-minute drive from the Allentown airport. We hadn’t seen her since her son Michael’s wedding nine years ago—past time to visit rather than email, text, or phone.


Leaving at 4:45 a.m., Spence drove his Maverick through dark, fog, and four stretches of construction—though only the last had active workers. We got a health walk lugging bags and trekking through the economy parking lot then the extensive walkway to the terminal.


Ten yards from the gate, my cell phone rang with two messages. The first read, “Your flight has been delayed.” The second message rebooked us on a Philadelphia to Allentown flight that departed before we left Pittsburgh.


How would we get to Allentown? The attendant left our gate so I walked to the adjacent one. “I have a question.”


“I’ve got twenty things to do right now. Wait there.” The gate attendant pointed a stern finger at a vacant seat. “I’ll take care of you in a minute.”


Three minutes later, she barked. “I can take care of you now.”


“I’m going to miss my connection in Philadelphia. Can you book my husband and me on another flight?” I showed her our boarding passes.


“You’ve got two choices. There’s an evening flight to Allentown that gets in after nine, or you can rent a car in Philly.”


“After nine?”


“I can’t wait for you to decide.” She handed me a card. “Call this number. I’ve got to go to my next flight.” She grabbed her gear and strode off.


Get into the airport past my bedtime and miss Anita, or rent a car in Philly? Easy decision. I could probably make the hour and a half drive to my sister’s house.


I called her. 


“Let me check car rentals.” Anita’s calm big sister voice reassured me. “Budget or Avis are the only ones that will let you pick up in Philly today and drop off in Allentown tomorrow.”


Spence growled beside me. “Thrifty’s computer won’t accept my cancellation. I’ve put their email numbers in three times. I’m calling.” He waited a half hour for a person to solve the problem. Then he rented a Budget car at three times the Thrifty price.


“It would have been easier to drive,” Spence mumbled.


The bumpy flight to Philadelphia ended with a slammed-brake stop propelling passengers against the seats in front of them. I hoped this ended our drama for the day. But we’d gotten lost the last time we rented a car in Philly to visit Anita. Maybe this time would be better.


Spence handed the young woman at the rental gate our paperwork and asked, “How do we get to the highway?”


She gazed over his head. “I don’t know. Use your GPS.” She lifted the gate and looked at her computer.


Feathers on the ground:
Blessings from my bird friends for
Safe travels around...
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)
 

Spence Driving Kia Soul
 

We don’t use GPS. Living in the country with no cell service, we rely on maps. I had studied Google maps and wrote directions. None included Philadelphia.


“We’ll check into the Holiday Inn.” Spence drove through the open gate. “Then we’ll drive to Anita’s.”


Yikes. Would so much driving aggravate my restless legs? But Spence knew the way to Easton from Philly. I could rest at the hotel. This might work.


Circling downtown, Spence pointed to a road sign. “Six-eleven. That’s how I traveled from Lafayette.”


“You need to switch lanes.” I leaned left in my seat. “We’re in a turn lane.”


Traffic didn’t let Spence in. We drove by stone houses with potted plants and through ghettos with cars backing out of gas stations. We passed factories, parks, and shopping districts. We crossed the Delaware River on high bridges into New Jersey several times. No signs for Route 611. An hour later Spence said, “Look for any road with a number.”


“If it leads to the hotel, we’ll go there,” I said, desperation clogging my voice. “If it goes to Anita’s we’ll head there.”


Spence stared out the windshield. “Agreed.”


North 95 came first. I called Anita. “We got lost in Philadelphia. We’re on north ninety-five.”


She instructed me to take N95, N 31, and W78. “Use exit twelve. Make a dogleg onto Charlestown Road. Call me when you get to seventy-eight. I need to get the dogs out back so you can get inside without them going crazy.”


We watched for N31. The New Jersey Turnpike came first. I called Anita. “Should we be on the turnpike?”


“You’re way east of me!” Rustling noises came through the phone. “Get off. I’m looking up how to get you back here.”


We exited, pulled into a motel parking lot, and waited.


“Okay, turn right . . .” She gave us another set of directions—206, 195, and 295 to the illusive N31. And she listed exits. “You’ll pass over route one for Princeton, route two-o-six for Rider University, another one, then route thirty-one. It’s at Pennington.”


“What’s the other one?”


“Something small. Looks like Mercer Meadows.” She paused. “You’ll know if you get off at the right place because Princeton Community Church is right there.”


I scribbled detailed notes. “Thanks.”


Finally on I 295, I studied each sign, determined not to end up in New York or Connecticut. We passed Anita’s landmarks followed by a sign reading “Pennington” without N 31 or Mercer Meadows. 


Dilemma.


“Get off,” I said. “We can always get back on.”


Spence pulled off. 


“Did we pass a church?”


“Yes. Right as we got off.”


We drove through a residential area. We passed Pennington Road. A short while later a sign announced Mercer Meadows. “Turn around and get back on the highway. We got off one exit too soon.”


Anita texted: Did you find 31?


I texted: No. Got off exit before. Looping back.


Construction closed the northbound entrance.


“Circle back and take the road into Pennington,” I told Spence, setting my directions aside and rubbing my eyes. “Maybe we can find thirty-one there.”


Spence drove into Pennington, waved at the school crossing guard, and passed through a commercial area into a residential section. He sighed. “Call Anita. Tell her we didn’t find thirty-one.”


“What do you mean?” Her voice held a touch of panic. “Thirty-one runs right through the middle of town. Give me the name of the cross street.”


“Wait. We’re coming up to a traffic light.” I laughed in relief. “It’s thirty-one!”


Four hours after leaving Budget rental for an hour and a half trip, I spotted the most beautiful sight of the trip—Anita trimming bushes by her front door.


“You made it,” she said. “Let me get you settled. Then I’ll let the dogs in.”


Squirrels, birds, cats, the dog
And I share the yard in peace.
We all breathe in Chi…
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)

Mr. Mumbles


With Spence and me on either end of the living room sofa and a gate channeling the dogs toward the kitchen, Anita let five Tibetan terriers in from the backyard. They raced up the stairs and stopped at the gate. Fannies wiggling, they barked. Anita gave them treats and removed the gate. The Tibetans raced toward us. They barked, jumped, and collected pats—prancing between Spence and me.

Once the joy of welcoming abated, they rested around the living room. Anita sat in her chair and we talked, mostly about the Tibetans. Anita volunteers for Tibetan Terrier Rescue. She regularly accepts groups of Tibetans into her home and cares for them until she places each dog into a perfect forever home.


Four of the five dogs resting at our feet were Anita’s. Three were rescue dogs. Hair combed in three ponytails, Smidge, a sixteen-year-old female, moved from one cuddler bed, in a row of five, to another. She barked telling the others she was in charge. Mr. Mumbles, an eleven-year-old, black and white Tibetan, stood still while I focused my phone camera but moved his head when I clicked the shutter. Button, a one-year-old female named after a California mountain pass, stayed beside Anita’s chair. Button has potential to be a therapy dog.


Two of Anita’s friends bred Gilbey, a five-year-old male, to be a show dog. Anita kept him for socializing. The dark sable dog grew too large and, as Anita said, “would probably take the hand off the judge who tried to open his mouth” anyway.


Bentley, a two year old, had a steel plate in his leg due to a birth deformity. His foster family vacationed in Germany. Bentley happily visited with Anita’s dogs because he’d been in Button’s rescue group. Anita watched him carefully. “Don’t let him jump onto the couch. I don’t want the plate in his leg dislodging.”


Three or four dogs jumped and ran each time Anita tended the food in the oven. She adeptly maneuvered the gate so only one could follow her and said, “I don’t want to get burnt.”


They all rose again and swarmed around our nephew Michael’s legs. He came after his work at a high school counseling job. Weary, he scratched the dogs’ ears. “In one week, four female students didn’t come back.” He shook his head. “Two married and the other two are pregnant.”


Anita fed the dogs their dinners. The house quieted. We sat at the dining room table for her yummy cream of spinach chicken and roasted vegetables. Roasted to perfection, the veggies melted on my tongue. Comfort food never tasted so divine.


When Michael talked about parking and flying to Puerto Rico with his wife Lisset, Anita’s phone rang. “I can ignore that.” She waved her hand, but looked at the caller ID. “Oh, it’s Todd.” She put her older son on speaker phone for all of us to join in the conversation.


Todd said, “I’m driving to Champaign.” He worked for the Alzheimer’s Association in Illinois and towed a trailer full of supplies to set up a fundraising walk.


Comfort food plus stories from Todd, Michael, and Anita dissolved the trauma of the trip. I’ll never forget Anita being at the end of the phone, calming, and providing information needed to make the moments in her home and around her table possible. More than that, her calls and texts enabled me to make the drive without squirming from restless legs. And her visit gave me the respite needed to compose myself for the second part of our journey—the service in memory of Spence’s best friend from college, Jeff.


Just breathing. In. Out.
Following the sound of the wind.
Moving Chi through trees…
Morning Haiku
by Jeffersong (Jefferson Blake Vitelli)

Gilbey


End Part 1